Tags
Beginner's Mind, contemplative photography, Ego, God, Grace and gratitude, Mindfulness, Mush-in, Mysticism, Personal Growth, photography, psychology, T.S. Elliot, Transcendence
Back before, and I mean way back, when we lived in the big city there was never a lack of color or something eye catching to photograph like a trash can or painted wall.
Then, it seemed, I could pick up the camera and get lost in some subject without giving it much thought. And in retrospect thats what I did – I photographed mindlessly and for the most part my images reflected how I saw myself and how I related to the world. Back in those days, I acted and thought, as if it was all about me. I wasn’t ready to allow myself to see that the stories which filled my head and stirred up fears, doubts, anxieties and other hinderances to being happy, feeling successful and having fun were just that. Stories.
Photography has been one of the constants throughout my life and I’ve enjoyed it on different levels…as a student, a teacher, an expert pro-guy and now, once more, a beginner. I’ve always found joy through the activity of it if not the results of it. I say this now with benefit of better understanding, and the humble insight that much of the time my photography was in the service of something other than I thought. The story these days is that I was using camera work to train my mind and develop concentration abilities so that when I officially bumped into Buddhism I instantly recognized the relationships between what I was doing and experiencing as a photographer and what I then understood as the fruits of Buddhist practices. Still, the concentration necessary to see deeply and precisely and dance with the light came through the photographic practice and not initially through mediation or study. Dr. Wayne Rowe speaks of learning to enter similar states of meditative quality which he interprets through a Zen based reality experience in his book Zen and the Magic of Photography.
Then, we moved to Durango. More specifically, we moved to the countryside and I would complain that there was nothing to photograph. Boredom, by necessity, forced me to learn to see with new eyes and to learn that its not about where you are or what surrounds you so much as it is about what you allow yourself to see. The basic attitude is simple and very difficult to do. Each time we pick up the camera and head out the door to photograph, we start anew. We start with what is understood in Zen as beginner’s mind, and in Christianity the idea is expressed as “becoming a child.” Such a state of mind perceives the openness around and within, with innocence, and wonder, with playful delight.
We always have to start just where we are, and some of us need to keep re-starting till it catches on, but eventually most of us get there. A first step is learning to quiet the mind allowing it to relax into spaciousness. Then practice perceiving space as the subject. Seems that some days when the spirit is right one can aim the camera at just about anything and be given something and maybe just maybe an experience that allows us to drop our mental filters and to observe the artificial boundaries between world and self.
A mentor, a teacher, a sower of seeds and a friend told me once that what we are hoping to find when we go to photograph is a mirror of ourselves – a mirror to reveal us to ourselves. Me, I keep coming back to Little Giddings by T.S. Elliot who boldly declared that we “We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time.”
That’s kinda how its been for me with photography. When I first started my first subjects were ordinary things – people, trees, flowers, landscapes, buildings and such and since moving to the high desert where color is a little more sparse the beauty of flowers and the archetypal energies of forests and certain trees have called me home. I’ve explored and continue exploring and I also feel at home….knowing on some deep visceral level that yeah “I’ve been here before” but this time I remember and this time I am awake, mindful of grace and grateful…open to seeing with the heart of a child – each time learning to see with fresh eyes.
These days I am making up stories that free me to experience more joy and freedom – more love and more success. Of course I back slide and wake up to find myself longing for the familiarity and comfort of my old stories – my old ways – my old pains and torments but I don’t seem to stay there as long as I once did. Instead, I seem to remember to hold myself in tenderness first – then making space for beautiful flowers gets easier.
Sandy Sue said:
As always, Rob, there are so many teachings here.
I love the phrase “the story these days”—a marker that reminds us that we may have gained insight, but that, too, is a story. To hold everything lightly, not grasp for “meaning” and “understanding” is a constant challenge. This kind of framing is so helpful.
And this line gives me such hope—“I’ve been here before, but this time I remember and this time I am awake.”
judyrobbinsart said:
I could say that any type of art-making is a process of seeking, self-examination and growth but with photography it is not so much planning about what you are going to shoot but looking beyond the obvious to what simply presents itself. Your photographs not only capture what presents but what is also behind and so we can look a little more deeply; that is your gift.
karina said:
In my practice there is a word called the Kundun which is practicing the Presence. It is much like your reference to see as a child. This is the state of being that allows me to create as well. When I allow the Presence: love to be the space in which I move from everything then becomes It’s reflection.
docrob50 said:
well hello. Nice of you to stop by and wander around my place too.
Perhaps we should have a conversation sometime sharing our
practices / experiences ?
robert
karina said:
I would love to have a conversation with you. How about on the nov 1 when we pick up our art from st marks.
docrob50 said:
that sounds like a very appropriate day and I have yoga at St Marks on Thursday till 10:30. Earlier works better for me than later. And I am looking forward to conversing about Kundun, Presence, Eyes of a Child and practices of the heart with you.
karina said:
I can meet @11 :15 if that works for you,
docrob50 said:
that would be just fine – see you then!
docrob50 said:
so how about noon-ish then at the church and if they need to kick us out we can go for coffee?
see ya then
robert
dipped strawberries ideas said:
I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both educative and engaging,
and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head.
The problem is something which too few folks
are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I found this during my search for something relating to this.
Crowing Crone Joss said:
“We always have to start just where we are” – sometimes I forget this and I want to start back where I was or even start where I might be. Thank you for this soulful glimpse into your own experience.
AlyZen Moonshadow said:
Hi Robert…that 2nd image, with the sideboard and the mirror-image numbers “516” on it. Spooky! My cousin’s partner who is into numerology, recently told me that my life needs the numbers “516” in it. How’s that for synchronicity!
docrob50 said:
So what does your cousin say it means?