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It started when I learned from a deputy sheriff  that the lovely morning with my neighbor on our shared easement road had turned sour.  The strange black car parked on the hill that had skittishly skedaddled the moment I spotted him turned out to be undercover and we were busted,  for “failure to close a gate with malicious intent.”  (Now there is a long back story to all this but my lawyer won’t let me publish more than a smidgeon of it until after things are settled and a resolution has come to be between new and old neighbors, between stallions and goats and bulls of all ages and energies.

I was restless after the phone call and felt as though I’d lost a mooring so, I sat down.  Sat down on our porch looking out over tall waving grass, gazing into blue sky and constantly shifting clouds. and I felt the tightness start leaving my body, felt bands relax as  tension I’d been holding  slowly released and I started to breathe easily again, and as my sense of being expanded so did my heart and my mind and lightness of mind grew upon me.  The air and that sweet golden light we see this time of year around that time of day drew my attention and the next thing I knew my heart opened and felt as warm and as golden as the light I beheld before me.  In a heartbeat the vortex that I’d been stuck within broke open.  Daylight streamed in and I saw a new meaning to an old teaching that changes everything.  I had to laugh as it dawned on me that I’d misunderstood the meaning of the lesson I learned that day in the park when I first experienced alignment of mind, heart, focus and desire.

I was about 14 when I had my first encounter with a bully and that being around 50 years or so ago.  Mike and I were  working at playing and practicing baseball skills, something that we loved and often did for hours at a time.  He was always the Cardinals and I was the Braves.  I believe I liked the Braves because of Warren Spahn who was a left handed pitcher, but truth is I don’t know anymore and it doesn’t matter.  Mike and I would take  turns being at bat and in the field. When at bat we got to set up the situations and call out “ground ball to second” or “high pop to third” so we could rehearse possibilities and our responses.  We got good he and I.

So once upon a time it came to pass that I was in the outfield and Mike was at bat when an epic storm came up dark and fast.  Mike’s house was close by and he took off a running and I figured I’d gather the ball and take shelter in Mike’s garage or head on up the hill for home.  I was preoccupied which of course is a familiar mind state of being for me and most folks much of the time When BAM! Out suddenly a figure jumps out of a shadow an older kid, no one I knew around the neighborhood and snatched up my glove holding it tauntingly and maliciously above my reach.  The Bastard.  He had my glove and all I wanted in that moment was to get it back….

My first Rowling’s left handed 1st baseman’s mitt.  A glove that I had drooled over, begged for and upon receiving has taken to sleeping with it and of course painstakingly customizing it for just my hand – glove.  My glove. He had my glove and all I knew was I wanted my glove back.  There was no time to think, there was no time for fear to arise and distract with it’s doubts and worries.  No.  And I see how I was then more clearly now than I ever did earlier.  Simple.  When I say he had my glove and wished to taunt me with keep away my focus, intent, desire, mind, heart, and gut came together in alignment and when that happens are actions express  confidence, clarity, integrity, faith, and commitment to a goal – I want my glove back.

The memory of this experience arose for me while meditating and did so with a quality of authority – of truth – of a way to approach a current situation with skillful means and with clarity of intention…..that it broke me open enough so that  I could drop into Beginner’s mind, and allow ease to flow through me again.  As I did, a gentle voice with a hint of mint fresh subtle humor said:  “Robert, It’s about alignment, its about integrity, its about intent.” And  the insights spilled over “speak speak the truth as I understand, speak with my heart and regardless the outcome I will have acted skillfully and with integrity and commitment.

And the lesson drawn from that 14 yr old experience that I need today 50 years older is that when my heart and my mind and my gut and my focus are in agreement and aligned, that the quality of my action and energies are forceful and resourceful in my own right…and yeah I got it back the first time too and I never saw that kid in around me after that.  Maybe he was really a hungry ghost appearing in that guise and form to teach me a lesson I would need to draw upon far down the road when I was getting to be an old man.

And a lesson a new friend shared with me today is to hold the old bull and maybe all bulls in compassion and loving kindness also…that the I Am that i am is the same I am they is too, is how it works within a unified field.

 

 

 

 

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